I Saw A Whale Today. With Baby In Tow.

I went flying with a former intern of mine this afternoon. We headed west out over the Pacific from La Jolla. Ten minutes into our flight, perhaps 1000 feet offshore, after seeing dozens of dolphins frolicking in the waves, we came across a massive, majestic, spectacular... Gray Whale.... with her baby swimming along side her. Beautiful.

In other news, Estrella and Harold came into town over the weekend. Estrella was in full baby-mode. She and Karin have put together what I anticipate to be a truly amazing baby environment. She even convinced us to switch the guest room and the baby's room. If any of you was planning on visiting, your view has now diminished significantly. On the other hand, you won't be woken up by golf balls hitting the window.

Estrella and Harold are out of town for a few days but will return this weekend to continue with the babyfication of our home.

Our house is suddenly overrun with baby-related boxes. Everywhere I look there is a baby gadget, book, toy, eating device, cleaning device, or means of baby-transportation. The gear required to keep newborns nourished, clean, handy, and entertained is astounding.

And to follow up on the poll from last month, I ended up sending a very nice letter, well after the holidays. Berl (fresh from his meeting with the Dalai Lama), and others, convinced us that we have to maintain proper karma in our lives, and that hostility and/or aggression in this situation is simply not karmic. Our landlord did return our deposit and we are a little bit closer to being at one with the universe (just in time for our world to be turned completely upside-down). Thank you for your advice and counsel in this matter.

Estrella treating us to some delicious latkes.

Doula Drops In!

On November 27 I reported that our Doula was not going to be available for the birth. Things have changed in said Doula's life and she will be able to attend the birth. Yesterday we had the Doula over for tea and cookies.

We had a long discussion about what a Doula does, what to expect during the birth, and what our respective roles will be. The Doula emphasized that she had no intention of usurping my role. I told her not to worry about usurping.

We also talked about a birth-plan, which led us to discuss the hypno-birthing classes that Karin is signing us up for. I won't get into the details (since I don't know what they are) but essentially it is a way to side-step the over-medicalization of birth. You're not going to believe this, but 100 (and more) years ago, women were giving birth. Back then, they didn't have ultrasound machines and teams of medical professionals in sterile rooms wearing white official-looking lab coats (and machines that go "ping"). Instead, they had farm houses and caves and rudimentary instruments that "doctors" carried around in scary little black bags (think Marathon Man).

Karin is not planning on giving up the sterile environment or the people running around in lab coats... but she does want to have a bit more control over the process.

This is where the "Birth Plan" comes into play. I had never heard of a birth plan until the meeting with the Doula. It sounds to me sort of like an Advance Healthcare Directive aimed at the birthing process. It's a way to make sure that everyone is on the same page in terms of what kind of care is going to be delivered and what kind of technology (my terminology) is going to be utilized at any given moment.

Karin does have some qualms about doing a birth-plan. Based upon her experience in delivery rooms, she thinks that anyone that shows up at the hospital with a birth-plan in hand immediately raises red flags for the staff - as in, "Watch out for that high-maintenance mama in room 2B, Ethel." I think it's a good idea, though. At least we should have a birth plan available in case there ends up being a difference of opinion at some point. Maybe I'll keep it in my back pocket and reveal its existence if and when it becomes necessary. I'm not being intentionally cryptic about all this but I do want to afford Karin some privacy (with a blog, for example!).

The bottom line is that the Doula will, upon notification of active labor, clear her schedule and then meet us at the hospital. She will then be there for us the entire time, having brought a bag full of things we will have forgotten and having thought of everything we neglected to do in the frantic rush that we will undoubtedly encounter once the event is upon us. I'm all for the Doula.

After all the discussion of pain and dilation and dilation and pain, the doula suggested I read The Birth Partner to prepare me for what is going to be rather an unbelievable event, replete with all kinds of potential surprises for the unwary.

Beach Stroll

Our New Baby-Ready Carpool Lane Pass (and car)

My car stopped cooperating so we were suddenly thrust into the car market. I had 2 criteria in looking for a vehicle: 1. Four doors, so we can get the little one in there; 2. An HOV sticker - basically a free pass into the carpool lane - to make my commute more tolerable. We also had been looking for a car that got great gas mileage (I really dislike sending money to countries that hate Jews, Americans, and human rights). We found exactly what we were looking for (pictured above). And, as an added bonus, it's easy on the environment.

After we picked up the car, we went by my dad's place, where a small group of Chargers fans had gathered to watch their beloved team lose to the Patriots. Kathy (of Zack & Kathy) immediately asked us if the new car had anchors for a carseat. Karin and I looked at each other quizzically. "Hmmm..." we pondered sheepishly to ourselves, "She sounds like she knows what she's talking about." Kathy went down to the car and found that the new car does, indeed, have carseat anchors. That was a bit of a relief. This whole parenting thing is complicated.

Karin's First Baby Dream

Karin reports that last night she had her first baby dream. In the dream, Karin was hanging out with a group of as-yet-to-be-identified individuals. Suddenly, she felt the baby. She looked down and saw an arm reaching out from under her shirt. Notwithstanding her rigorous medical training, an undergraduate degree in physiology, and significant intelligence, this did not strike her as being particularly odd.

A moment later, the baby was out! In her arms. A little soggy perhaps, but otherwise well.

Karin and the people she was with were concerned because the baby was 7 weeks early. They immediately sprung into action. They tried to figure out how to get him back in. That brainstorming session went nowhere. Karin's final thought seems to have been, "Oh well, I guess that's just how it's going to happen for me."

What do you mean by "early"?

Dad, Annie, and HM were here for dinner yesterday. At one point the conversation turned to babies born early or "pre-term". I was born 4 weeks early, for example. And so were many of the people in my family. Half a million people in this country are born pre-term each year.

This is not exactly news to to anyone but it certainly triggered something in me yesterday. Our 7 or so weeks might turn into 3? Or less? That's just shocking! We need that time. We have to create his living space. And I have to rearrange work and leave. And we have to talk to the mohel. And what about my maturity level? I desperately need those 4 extra weeks.

I think I'm beginning to come to grips with it now. It's a good thing it came up at dinner yesterday. Otherwise I may have had a really shocking reality-check soon.

So let's see... Since it's a boy... I have to start working on his gun collection. And he'll be needing girly magazines. And we have to get someone to train him to be obsessed about sports... So much to do and so little time! I had better talk to Karin about this.

The Pillow Fortress

We are now officially 2 months away from birth!

Most asked question this month: "Have you chosen a name?"

Most common response: "No."

Poor Karin's nights are becoming unbearable.

Karin loves sleep. She craves long, uninterrupted slumber, in rooms that are as dark and as silent as possible, stretched out in unconscious bliss, on her stomach. Ten hours is good. Eleven is better. Twelve is getting close to perfection.

These days, Karin's stomach is no longer available for sleep. In fact, given the size and weight of her abdominal area, she has few to no options in terms of positions. Sleeping on her back is not an option, for example. As soon as Karin turns onto her back, her heart rate shoots up to at least 120 and she becomes nauseous. This may have to do with the compression of some major veins. Whatever the exact cause is, one thing is certain: the little guy is taxing Karin's cardio-vascular system.

Sleeping on her side is not much better. The gravitational pull on Karin's extended belly is putting tremendous pressure on her little frame. If she lies on one side, she begins to suffer pain in her back and legs. If she turns to the other side she begins to suffer more pain in her back and legs. That exhausts the 4 conventional sleep positions.

Karin's solution is to build a small, but elaborate, pillow fortress around her each evening. She props here and there and everywhere in an effort to counterbalance the forces that are working hard to negate any chance she may have at minimal comfort. Her success rate using this method is, unfortunately, terrible. Even with the pillow fortress, a darkened and silent room, and my following her every instruction, she is in almost-constant pain and discomfort. She wakes up multiple times every night and has difficulty falling asleep.

For a typical person this would be extremely unpleasant. For Karin it is absolute torture. She has been robbed of her beloved sleep time.

Some people have said, "Oh, it's good training for what is to come after the birth." In case you were planning on mentioning this to her, it really isn't necessary. Sleep disruption is not something that we really need to be trained in. We'll just tolerate it as is happens. Then again, perhaps come April, when we are woken up at 2 AM and 3 AM and 4 AM (and so on), we will turn to each other and say, "Thank goodness for all that great training during pregnancy!"

Baby's Aggressivity Captured On Video

There is definitely something living inside Karin. This video moves us beyond speculation. I think it's time for her to see a doctor about it.

Also, if it is our baby in there, I think it's time to start his therapy. This kind of acting-out is uncalled for. We are providing a stable home, nourishment, security, love... and this is how he treats his mother?

Sympathy Pregnancy

In an effort to better relate to everything that Karin is going through, I emulate her predicament. This way I too can feel what it is like to carry a little one in my belly for 9 months. For those of you who have not done this, pregnancy primarily feels like your shirt is too tight. I'll be sure to let you know what the birth feels like come March.

 

Our Son's First Trip To Miami Beach

29 Weeks, 3 Days

It's January 1, 2008. We wish everyone a very Happy 2008.

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