APL's First Day of Daycare

I have spent the last 6 weeks as primary caregiver for APL. This opportunity arose when our nanny, Wei, returned to China, following the expiration of her visa.

A few months ago, when APL was approaching 8 months of age, we began to think about what we would do in terms of childcare when Wei left. There was the nanny option... but we were not keen to have someone living in our home again. And the few day-nannies that we had prior to Wei had, on occasion, shown up late or not at all - not a viable option for working people. Another avenue was daycare. We were not comfortable with that at all; APL was still very much a baby.

Then I had an epiphany; I could take care of APL for the 6 weeks that was provided for by California Family Leave. Karin was skeptical... and rightly so; even with full-time, 7-day-a-week-care, we were exhausted. How would we cope without help?

I don't know all that many men that have done something like this. But one did come to mind. I gave Alex a call. Not only did he tell me that I could do it, he told me that it would be great! I figured that I really had no choice in the matter; it could be an amazing opportunity to really get to know the little guy - plus, I was hoping that it would take a lot of stress off Karin. I decided to do it.

I informed Karin of my decision. She seemed shocked that I was even considering such a thing but agreed that it was a fine idea.

And so, I have spent the last 6 weeks taking APL to the beach, to my office, to the beach, to Costco, to the beach, to Walmart, to the beach, to visit friends... And he has been great fun! He loves being around people. He laughs. He plays. He investigates (read: tastes) everything. He studies. He discovers. And I got to watch it all.

Early on in my mannying, we started discussing options for childcare in a post-Jaime-the-caregiver world. Karin was not initially keen on the daycare idea. But APL seemed to be craving interaction with other children - and loved a dynamic environment. Karin agreed to at least look at some daycares with me. We visited quite a few. Many of them had long waiting lists. Other ones were too out of the way for us. And some were dreadful.

Eventually we found a KinderCare that was on my way to work, had decent indoor and outdoor facilities, and, oddly enough, had an opening.

Karin said she was willing to give it a try. But she was nervous about it. Would he be happy? Would he miss us? Would he cry? I can see how it must have been nerve-wracking for her... but I was quite confident that he would thrive.

And so, this morning at around 11:00 AM, Karin drove APL to daycare. I was not there but it sounds like the drop-off was a bit underwhelming (apart from the fire drill that cleared the building). At 1:30 PM Karin nervously called the daycare for a status report: APL was asleep. On a cot! APL still sleeps in a crib at home so a cot is a pretty big deal (even if it is all of one inch off the floor).

At 4:00 PM I went to pick up the little guy - who I had spent 6 straight weeks with, day in, and day out. Of course he would be missing me! I walked up to his classroom with great anticipation. How big would his smile be when he saw me? I was picturing his adorable determined crawl when he sees something he really wants.

I stepped into the classroom.. to find it empty. A bit of a letdown. I headed down the hall to the outdoor area. As I opened the door, I saw little APL in his teacher's arms. He turned to me and stared, expressionless. "APL," I said, "Hello!" Still no reaction. I reached out to him. He seemed to be having a fine time with his teacher and had no particular desire to embrace daddy. Eventually he did nonchalantly come to me. Meanwhile, the two children accompanying APL were vigorously waving at me and smiling. The irony of the scenario was not completely lost on me.

APL was tired. Perhaps today had been the most active day of his life. It certainly had been one of the most social.

When I got him home, he did something that he never does; he crawled up on my chest and went to sleep. Adorable.

I think this counts as a great first day at daycare. Hopefully it keeps up.

Mommy is quite relieved. I am too. And APL... he's mostly oblivious as far as I can tell.